A TALE OF TWO DUBIES

Hello Blog-readers,

Well I'm sticking to it. Bloggin on a weekly basis. Luckily this heavy blog period is coinciding with a slow work period also known as light poverty. So I have lots of time to write about things as I contemplate which storage unit to move my family into. A family that now includes a cat.

This is Pete. Named as such because of the slight resemblance to my grandfather. I'm not sure if Pete would rather live in the storage units on the Westside Highway or alongside the FDR. Is Pete westside or eastside? Not sure yet. I've only known the guy for a few weeks.

When last I wrote it was from the comfortable 3 bedroom Buffalo estate of my younger sister, Allison. Now, I contemplate the choices I've made in my life on pretty much an hourly basis but never more than when I am visiting the sis. In many ways she is me...I mean, we have the same parents, same muscle tone, same love of pancakes, beer and darts. But...her life is much different than mine. From what I can see, she has your typical problems - Stress of planning a wedding, the grind of a 9-5 job...contemplating which birth control to use.

I don't share any of these issues. My work life is a bizarre schedule consisting of early mornings writing comedy, days producing forensic themed promos or furiously, compulsively cleaning my apartment. Then...evenings in comedy clubs, drinking and trying to elicit laughter from strangers or at home trying to convince my girlfriend that I've been out "networking" and it's all part of "the biz. What can I do Marin? What can I do?" And the constraints of heterosexuality like birth control and wedding planning completely elude me. I'm lucky! It's not all inequality and hate crimes! There are some benefits.

This is the life I have chosen and believe me I don't want to live in Buffalo. I love the Goo Goo Dolls as much as the next girl but the threat of a year round winter is frightening. The part I can't get my head around is that Allison is living the life I left. Let me explain.

We both went to schools in upstate New York, Both had the college boyfriend named Matt, both decided that we would not return home to Massachusetts until we were in our 40s and ready to have our mom raise our children. However...she stuck with this plan. She is marrying said Matt and living in the aforementioned 3 bedroom estate that she pays for with pocket change. Buffalo is so inexpensive you almost want to live there.

I tossed that plan out the window three years after college....decided to be a lady lover, decided to live in poverty and chase my "dreams" (believe me I wish I had fewer and more attainable dreams). This is all well and good and should mean I'm living life and caught up in the excitement of pursuing something I love. That's happening... sure, sure but every now and then I DO want to return to the simple life. At least in my head. I remember the days when after returning home to find the toilet seat up and my former Matt trying to deep fry a turkey...I would turn to my friend a say..."Boys! What's wrong with them? Let's go to the mall!"

Now I wouldn't trade Marin (who doesn't leave the toilet seat up...ladies! who's with me?) or my life that I have now for anything but I do remember what it was like to go to a wedding and not hear a light murmur of "lesbians...oh my!" from Grandmas and "lesbians....oh yeah!" from drunk, hopeful men. On the flip side I don't have to deal with balls anymore.

This Saturday (September 29th) I'm performing in the "FUNNY LADIES" show at The Triad Theater.

158 W.72nd Street (between Broadway and Columbus)

$12 +2 drinks

Reservations: 212-362-2590

Subway: 1, 2, 3, B, C to 72nd.


Thanks for reading.
DUBES

POST - IT!!!

Well the day has finally come where I type into this blog that I created nearly a year ago. Here were are...the first post! This is almost as exciting as the time I saw Joey Lawrence in the Las Vegas airport. Whoa!

Speaking of posts...I am the kind of girl who has "post-it" notes surrounding her at all times. I make lists from other lists and believe me...crossing this off my "To Do" list is giving me a tiny orgasm. I'm glad you can all share this with me. It's the closest I'll get to a gang bang.

I am going to try and write in this blog on a regular basis and chances are my readership will be five people deep but in the event I get some national exposure and "I Just Peed a Little" becomes the new Perez Hilton blog...I intend to be ready.

What can you expect from Leah's blog?

...well for one, pictures of things. I've noticed that people seem to like it if you say..."I use a lot of post-it notes" and then there is a picture of a post-it note right next to it. Like so...

"SUPER STICKY!!"

I can do this for you. It's no trouble really. Just requires a tiny google image search and I don't mind.

I will also keep everyone up to date on what's happening in the world of DUBIE. Comedy, kittens, sister's weddings, et cetera.

Right now I'm in Buffalo. Buffalo is a tiny city near Canada that houses my sister and her male counterpart / future husband / awesome chili chef - Matt, where it is always freezing and perpetually looks like it's 5 PM according to Marin. When I return home I will debrief Allison's (previously mentioned sister) bachelorette party, my sexy Buffalo headshot photo shoot and a fancy man named Lance Diamond. Who from what I can tell is Neil's much smoother African American half brother. Here he is in a top hat and tails...

****Also, a big huge thank you to everyone who came out to Comix last weekend for the Comedy Central audition. The show was amazing and your support was just as good. Seriously though everyone has been so wonderful in cheering me along as I work my tail off in comedy. I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

"Hands reaching out...touching hands...touching me...TOUCHING YOU!!!!!